Drummers...snare problem?

When I play my tom toms, the snares at the bottom of the snare drum ring and vibrate. I like having a high pitch sound on my toms but everytime I do, the snares will ring. But I know your going to say to tighten my snares, but when I tighten my snares it sounds like a snare used in a marching band and it just doesnt sound good. Any ideas?